Funny Dialogue In The Last Week

"Bryan you ARE a literary genius and should have gone into English." -The only person who has admitted to reading this blog


"I've got game." -My Dad


As I walked to campus, I was approached by a girl I had never seen before.

Girl: "James! You're back! How are you?"

James, huh? How is it that other people can remember names but not faces? You clearly don't know James all that well. This could be fun...

Bryan, in his best I-think-I-remember-you-too-but-help-me-out-here voice: "Hey!"

Girl, catching the slight question in my response: "I'm Lindsey, remember? How are you? Where did you serve again?"

I'm going to come clean with her in a moment anyway. Let's just throw things out until I get something wrong and she realizes that I'm an imposter.

Bryan: "I'm good! I just got back from Brazil three months ago. How have you been?"

Lindsey:"Really? Brazil? I forgot that - I thought it was Asia or something. Cool! Have you seen Justin?"

Bryan: "Well, both Asians and Brazilians are short and eat rice. I haven't seen hardly anyone from our freshman ward, but of course I've seen Justin!"

Lindsey: "You guys were hilarious."

Bryan: "Yeah, it's too bad I'm one of those boring return missionaries now. Enclave Village just isn't quite the same as Helaman Halls."

Lindsey: "Really? Did you hang out there much? I never left Heritage that whole year."

*I begin laughing, regretting my lapse in impromptu acting skills. I explain myself, apologize, and Lindsey turns red.*



A guy came up to me to discuss his efforts to date my friend. He wanted me to find out how his efforts were going. I already had this information (that she wasn't really interested), but I had been asked to keep quiet about it, so I did. There was not a drop of sarcasm in anything he said to me afterward.

Guy: "You know, man, you've got to start with one girl, get some confidence going, and then drop her for someone better! It's kind of like a ladder. I've done it a few times, and I'm to the point that I can get pretty much any girl that I want."

Wow. I'm suddenly inspired to encourage my friend (who you aren't getting so easily) to go for you.

Guy: "Yeah, bro, I'll help you out too! Yeah, I've been thinking about you, man! You've just gotta get yer hair together into a Mohawk with some mousse and some hairspray. Then we'll get you some skater shoes and you'll see the difference, bro! We're gonna turn you into a ladies' man!"

Wow. Thanks, "bro."